RSS

Sticks and Stones

25 Mar

This was an old Tumblr short story that I wrote 5 years ago. In that time, Tumblr became… let’s say… anal… about the content of things they allow people to blog about. I recently noticed my story as it was posted, was missing the ending because it was too “controversial.” Therefore, I’m saying Fuck Tumblr, and I’m moving that story to this WordPress blog. Enjoy.

Pose with Sim sitting by the bathroom wall, and pose with Sim laying on the floor are made by me, LateKnightSimmer.

For the past seven years the girl had been subjected to the cruelty of negative words. She had been taught that ‘sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.’ Unfortunately for her, this age old saying did not ring true. In fact, this saying was a load of bullshit. The cruel words the girl had been hearing for the past seven years were, on the surface, not that cruel, but to her, they were the worst. She had heard these words so often that she was dead inside from them. Plenty of people would say to the girl that she should lighten up, take a joke, and stop being a drama queen because it’s not that big a deal. The girl had been taking their advice, but for her, none of those things were very admissible. When she tried to lighten up, the words still stuck with her, when she tried to laugh and take it as a joke, the words still stuck with her, when she tried not to make a big deal out of it, the words still stuck with her. That was the problem.

All of the words the girl had been hearing had a common theme of ‘you’re not good enough for this.’ Some may argue that when you tell someone they are not good enough, it will cause them to try harder to be better. This is true, but it is only true for some people. Other people take this and beat themselves up, and it damages their self-confidence and self-esteem. The girl had felt like a failure for the past seven years because everything she did wasn’t good enough, and the people who told her to lighten up were reinforcing that she was going about life all wrong. She felt as if there was something fundamentally wrong with her, she felt broken, as if she could never be fixed, unless a part of her was carved out, the part that was doing everything wrong. The girl began to cut herself on her milky pale skin, skin that most would consider beautiful, skin that lots of women would kill to have, but no one told the girl she was beautiful. No one could ever spare a kind word. Every time the girl sliced her skin and a little dribble of blood came out, she felt better. She was punishing herself for being a failure. The pain gave her a reason to cry because showing emotion to people meant she was weak. If she was in pain, then the tears could be justified. Finally something was going her way. Another reason she did this to herself is because she thinks she is ugly. How could anyone think such a giant failure as herself to be beautiful and desirable?

The girl continues to go through her life, through the motions, cutting her skin daily, and as time goes on, she becomes numb to everything around her. It’s not that she wasn’t numb before, but the cutting is making it worse, even though she doesn’t see it that way. She sees the cutting as a way to feel something, anything other than the numb feeling of nothing that her life has become. One day the girl goes to her class, the one that she’s been going to this semester, and one of the people who talks to her regularly, who thinks they are her friend, calls her a slacker. Her friend is one of those people who think that it’s fun to give someone a hard time when they feel comfortable enough with each other, and he is relentless at this because he is comfortable with her. The problem is that she is not comfortable with him. Throughout class, the word ‘slacker’ sticks in the girl’s head. It becomes so loud, like it’s turned up to full volume, and it’s blaring in her ears. She can’t even concentrate on the teacher, the subject matter, her notes, anything. All she hears is her supposed friend’s cruel word. Yeah… on the surface, slacker is not the worst word in the world to be called, but this girl, she had been through a lot, she didn’t need yet another negative word on her mind. Class finishes and the girl goes back to her apartment, the word ‘slacker’ still crawling through her mind like a disease.

She closes her front door, and goes to her bathroom mirror. She yells at her reflection.
“WHY ARE YOU SUCH A TERRIBLE PERSON?! YOU ARE A SLACKER. YOU SUCK! YOU don’t deserve to breathe!”

In a fit of rage, the girl goes to her kitchen and takes out her chef’s knife. She places it over her small dainty wrist, and says a few last words.

“Finally, the world will be rid of one less slacker.”

With that, she screams in pain as she slices her veins open and lies down on the kitchen tiles which are cold and hard, the last thing she feels is the tiredness that overcomes her because of the extreme blood loss she has just inflicted on herself. ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?’ Yeah right. What a load of bullshit.


When this story was on Tumblr, I had a post on here directing people to read it, but to come back to WordPress if they wanted to leave a comment. The link below will take you to that WordPress post with the comments.

Sticks and Stones Comment Chain

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 25, 2021 in Short Stories

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: